Stepping Up Your Game One Snack at a Time ...

This past weekend, we had the pleasure of celebrating my Uncle Frank’s 45^th birthday. Frank is not only my uncle, he is also my padrino (godfather). We go way back, like when he bought me my first baseball glove for Little League.

When my Aunt Susan told me that she wanted to throw a surprise party for ol’ Pancho, I was more than down for the plan. I started thinking, “What should I get him for his birthday?” The first idea was a bottle of some fine liquor, like Corzo or maybe even a little JW Green. It is common practice in my family for bottles to be given as gifts. Unfortunately, the bottles do not usually survive the night so there is little longevity to such a gift. We are usually left with only fleeting memories of popped bottles:

Gift Recipient: “Hey, remember when you gave me that bottle of __________. That was some good stuff.”

Gift Giver: “I know huh!”

Liquor is probably the one of the few gifts that when used actually causes you to forget that you actually received the gift.

After knowing Frank and the rest of the clan as long as I have, I knew that a bottle of booze would likely be consumed and forgotten. There I was, back at square one: "What in the hell am I going to give my Tio Frank?"

Out of nowhere I remembered that he really liked seafood, particularly oysters. I remembered a story where my Aunt Susan told me that Frank almost ate an entire box of oysters at a party. That’s it! I am going to bring some oysters to the party. My cousin Juan hooked me up with a contact over at Fish King in Glendale. I have it on good authority that when the Queen of England docks her ship in So Cal, it’s the Fish King that fills her pantry with the best and freshest seafood. I ended up copping about 100 oysters seeing as there was going to be a bunch of people at the party.

I arrived at Aunt Susan’s house early to help set up. It was Raul, Miss G, and I setting up tables and chairs and what not. After that was done, we were just chilling out waiting for Uncle Frank to come home. As a reward for our hard work, I decided to crack some oysters open and get down to the goodness.

If I recall correctly, the oysters we got were from the Hamma Hamma River in the state of Washington. These oysters are real smooth with just a bit of that briny flavor that is overpowering in a lot of other types of oysters. A little lemon juice and a little hot sauce and you have a snack that is sweet, salty, sour, and spicy. That is my kind of eating!!

Raul had his own contribution to the experience. He came to the party with a nice little 5 liter keg of Kulmbacher Pilsner. For those who are unfamiliar with Kulmbacher, it is made in the same style as Pilsner Urquell and Paulaner. Kulmbacher is a very clean beer with some nice citrus notes. What I really liked about Kulmbacher is that it does not have some of the bitter after taste that Pilsner Urquell has. The Kulmbacher keg is a pretty good deal too. Roughly, the 5 liter keg gives you around 169 ounces, which relates to about ten, 16-ounce pints, or about fourteen 12-ounce bottles of beer.

Kulmbacher and Hamma Hamma Oysters are obscenely tasty when consumed together. A sip of Kulmbacher right after you shoot the oyster gives you a nice clean palate for the next round of oysters. The crisp taste of Kulmbacher also helps you out when you inadvertently put too much hot sauce on the oyster.

There is something cool about being grown. You start liking stuff that you never thought that you would like. Five years ago I don’t think I even would have looked at an oyster. Now, I really appreciate all sorts of stuff like briny oysters and German pilsners. Yeah, I still like Dr. Pepper and Chili-Cheese Fritos (staple high school food), but man … oysters and beer might just take the top spot.

Definition of Epicurean

Another really good German pilsner mini-keg